Controlling Anger; a unique attribute

 وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّـهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good;

[Al-Imran 3:134]

Ta’leem and Tarbiyyah- these two things used to go hand in hand. In fact, for the first 1300 years for this Ummah, there used to be no difference between “Taleem yafta and Tarbiyat yafta“. Jo Taleem yafta tha, woh tarbiyyat yafta tha. It was unimaginable at that time, considered as a great discrepancy in education, for somebody to be Taleem yafta but not tarbiyyat yafta. Taleem aur Tarbiyyat Lazim aur malzoom tha aik dosre ke liye!

It was considered such a great defect that no educational institute could bear it; no Ustaadh could bear it; No parents could bear it. Now we are living in such a time that Taleem is one thing and Tarbiyyat is totally different. Just being educated doesn’t mean a person is also tarbiyyat yafta – two separate worlds. So much so that in the olden days, the parents used to do tarbiyyat of their children when their children were young and when their children became 16-17-18 they would transfer literally deposit the hands of their children to some Aalim or Shaykh who would then do tarbiyyat of that young man or woman for the rest of their lives. And, Adults used to worry about their tarbiyyat. Barey Barey Awliyah Mashaikh, jab unke Shaykh dunya se rukhsat hotey they, woh kehtey thay ke ab kisi ka saya mujh per nayi hai.

It has been narrated about Allama Shabbir Ahmed Usmani rah that during the end of his life there was no one to scold or reprimand him. Once he was sitting and crying – upon being asked why he was crying – he sighed: Today there is no one to reprimand Shabbir Ahmed!

Allahuakbar! So worried about Tarbiyyah. Even though he was such a big Aalim, Scholar of Hadith, Scholar of Tafsir!

Such a difference between them and us.Today the children don’t like it if their own Parents try to do their tarbiyyah! Whichever of the parent is soft they like to be with them. And, if any of the parent is even slightly strict, Allahuakbar! Reaction, spontaneous combustion! They will talk-back; they will disappear! Women say that their son doesn’t even come in front of his father! Allahu akbar`

Barey barey Ullema Mashaikh apni aakhri umar tak apney aap ko Shaykh ke mustaghni nayi samajhtey yeh 16-17 saal ka larka apney aap ko baap ka mustaghni samajhta hai?!

Even amongst brothers- if the elder brother tries to even slightly reprimand his younger brother, the younger one stops coming in front of him; stops meeting his older brother; doesn’t talk to his older brother; keeps to himself; keeps in his room!

Allahuakbar! Koi apney bhai se mustaghni hogya? Yeh toh qiyamat ki baat hai!

يَوْمَ يَفِرُّ الْمَرْءُ مِنْ أَخِيهِ

On the Day a man will flee from this brother


Mufassirin have written that Allah swt has Made a point here in this ayah regarding the importance and closeness of  brother-brother relationship. i.e. Allah swt is Using this to illustrate the haibah of the day of Judgement is such a Day that a person would even flee from their own brother! And people have started doing this in this world! Allahuakbar – this is a sign of the end of times!

One thing is that something has been mentioned as a sign of the closeness of the Day of Judgement but this has been mentioned as something that would happen on that Day itself! Can we comprehend the severity of such an action?

There are two emotions that a person is often unable to control.

1. Desire (Shehwah)

2. Anger (Ghadab/Ghaiz/Ghussah)

Before we understand what the cure is we need to understand the human being. Allah swt has Given a human being 3 particular parts:

First: Mind (Aqal)

Our mind is the seat of thoughts; its job is to just process thoughts-all the time its just thinking thoughts, processing them. Our mind with the neural networks; neural pathways – it is the real information superhighway! The Internet is still less compared to the human mind. Hundred thousands, Billions of thoughts a person can think – if they live an average life span.

Everybody can have good thoughts or bad thoughts – we can think a wide variety of thoughts. Now these thoughts they are like traffic; if traffic is flowing it is never a problem. When the traffic is blocked; when it gets stuck – the system stops functioning. Sometimes a person’s mind gets stuck on one thought and so they are unable to anything else. Sometimes its due to some inferiority complex; a trial; or a failure; some worry or the other – somethings may not be going the way they want them to go; a person may not be behaving the way someone wants them to be! And so a peson gets stuck on it. The information traffic gets jammed. And sometimes a person gets dirty thoughts

The Rule about thoughts:

Coming of bad thoughts in itself is not blameworthy- that is part of our humanity. But, if we dwell on those bad thoughts; deliberately think bad  thoughts; let them become a train of thoughts then that will be accounted for. And Allah swt has Given Shaytan the power of Waswasa; he can light that spark in our minds! be continued, inshaAllah.

[Inspired from talk by Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed db, NOT a word-word transcription]

To listen to original mp3, click HERE

This entry was posted in Muslim Youth, Nafs, Our Spiritual Enemies, Purification of the Heart. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Controlling Anger; a unique attribute

  1. Marium says:

    Please, can you post the link to this lecture in the comments section? JazakAllah.

  2. Z.Sadiq says:

    🙂 jazakALLAH

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